Banishing the Slug

I've been a slug lately. Not last week, actually. Which is why the blog didn't get the blog updated until now. But for the past....hmmmm....I'm not sure how long (think many, many weeks) I've had a hard time getting motivated to do anything. The children were cared for. Kind-of. Nick Jr replaced mom. PJs were frequent all-day-attire. I cooked more often than not and the house was neglected until about 4pm. Both of which were part of the strategy. If you want to call it that.

I talked to Otterpop about it and this was a shocker to him. In other words, the strategy of hiding my sluggish behavior from him worked. Not that I was intentionally being duplicitous. It really was more like shame drove me to do it. That's fun to admit.

October was really hard. Which I expected and was prepared for. But November was too. So rather than working myself out of it, I embraced the life of a slug. The turning point for me was when I read CJane's blog post about her annual October depression. That kind of hit home.

It's not that anything was wrong. Or that I had a lot of pressure on me. It's kinda like "The Mean Reds" from the film Breakfast at Tiffany's. Only a little less bipolar. More than anything I think it was that I didn't have anything to do. Which made me miss working. Being forced out of the house early every morning with a purpose. It kind of made me want to put my resume out again. Which I know isn't the right answer right now. My babies need me.

Instead I made myself busy. Cooking Thanksgiving dinner will do that to you. And this week has been all sorts of busy. Sweet Cheeks had a birthday party for her friends Saturday and I've been assigned to help with our ward's Relief Society Christmas party. Then I'm working on a Christmas surprise for my family. I may have over done the busy thing, but it's what I needed.

And so things are better for now. Motivation is still work, but I have something to motivate me. Now if I could just get the motivation to train for the race. Lori - call me. I need your motivation.

In the Spirit of Thanksgiving

 I'm thankful for a day to reflect on what I've been blessed with. A day to spend with family. To go for a morning run with my sister. To cook. Oh to cook that wonderful dinner. I look forward to it every year. To have the means to provide this meal. I'm thankful for my faith. For my family. And for every little blessing God has given me. 

What are you thankful for?

9 and Counting

Yesterday was a birthday and today is an anniversary. Ours. Me and Otter. Sometimes I feel like I'm way too young to be celebrating a ninth wedding anniversary. But that's what happens when you get married at 21. I know. That's really young. It is what it is and I don't regret it one bit. 

Otterpop and I have had a rough couple of years. We've had to deal with the stress of multiple family deaths; the birth of a new baby that nearly resulted in my death; the stress of losing my job which was a blessing, but stressful none the less; and then learning to manage life on a single income. 

I would be lying if I said the stress hasn't impacted our relationship. Don't get me wrong. We are happy. It's just that marriage is hard enough when things are good. 

But the past nine years have taught me some great lessons. Mostly that anything worth while requires work. 

And so I impart to you some lessons learned by Tera:

~ When you are hurting your spouse is often hurting just as much. Sometimes more. 

~ Pouting in silence does more harm than good. Swallowing your pride to say "sorry" will make things a whole lot better than they were.

~ Simple listening without trying to fix the problem is more often than not the best advice you can give.

~ Empathy goes a very long way.

~ The addition of children doesn't have to suck the life out of your relationship. It just takes a lot more work.

And there you have it. Now all I have to do is follow my own advise and we'll have our very own happily ever after.

Happy Happy Birthday Sweet Cheeks!

My Sweet Cheeks is FIVE today. How on earth can that be so? She's such a sweet, emotional and silly girl. And smart. Oh, so smart. And an old soul. And I'm lucky to have her.

Hooray for Visitors!

My dear friend and former co-worker, Becky, came to visit us last weekend. Former co-worker, yes, but mostly dear friend. All the way from Baltimore. Ok, so not that far, but far enough away that we don't see much of each other. Actually, she's a lot closer since she moved back here from Georgia.

Becky and I grew very close in those wonderful corporate days. We share a common disdain for our former employer. Being laid off will do that to you. Come to think of it, our feelings didn't change all that much from when we were working there. I guess they were just intensified.

Anywho - From just about the time we met Becky and I had long, deep, existential conversations. My deep devotion to my religion contrast with her lack of religion but immense spirituality made for some great conversations. It has been amazing to share my beliefs with her and see how often they overlap with her own. Though there are some places we know we can't go because our views differ so greatly. But that's the fabulous thing about our friendship. We respect each other enough to agree to disagree and leave it at that.

It has been about 18 months since we last worked together, yet seeing her this weekend felt no different than when we saw each other every day. We picked up right where we left off. Except she spent the night and came to church with us Sunday. I can only imagine how she must have felt.

It's actually kind of interesting that we would talk about these things because I have a very hard time sharing my beliefs of faith. Not because I question them. I guess I am amazed at how candid people are about something so very personal. Even once you get to know someone really well it isn't always comfortable talking about things of that nature. I guess ultimately for me it comes down to fear of how others will react.

There are some people that have major problems with my religion. In July when we went to Palmyra and the Hill Cummorah Pageant I felt this intensely. There were people standing along the fence yelling in bull horns the most horrible things against us because we are Mormon. And there was little boy who was probably ten years old manning one of them. Then there were the signs. My favorite: "Ask me why you deserve to go to Hell". It was seriously disturbing. And that pretty much sums up why I have a hard time sharing my feelings.

Needless to say, I don't have that problem with Becky, and that's one of the things I love most about her. Had we met at a different time in both our lives things would probably be very, very different. We've talked a lot about that too. How there is a reason we met when we did. I'm thankful she was put in my path. Cheesy. I know. But, hey, everyone's allowed cheese every so often. I promise it won't happen again. Not too soon, that is.

Exhaustion and A Bit of Bragging

Whew...It's been a crazy weekend. From the reemergence of Doris (she came back with a vengeance, mind you) to a trip to Oz, mass group couples therapy and a birthday party for my favorite just turned 4 little girl - we were all over the place. And of course my heart and mind was in New York with Lester while she ran the NYC marathon. In 4:07, mind you. She did awesome. I'm exhausted for her.

Although things have quieted down, I'm super, super, super excited. By the way, I recently realized how much I use the word "super" when I noticed Addie-Cakes says it about 9000 times a day, but I digress. Anyway - I'm very excited and I have to brag because of an email I got earlier today. From Ticketmaster. Well, it was a forwarded email from Ticketmaster. Not to be redeemed until June 22nd. In Baltimore. Guesses, anyone? I'll give you a hint:

That's right...I got tickets to the U2 concert in Baltimore. Well, technically Lester got them for us and Otterpop. It's just easier to say I got them.

Let me just tell you, Lester has gone to many-a U2 concerts. She's practically a pro U2 concert goer. Okay, I exaggerate. But she has gone to several and does have a friend who is. Practically a pro-U2 concert goer, I mean. I stole this picture off her FB page that she took in Istanbul. She's a professional photographer, which explains a lot but this just shows how close one can get with General Admission Tickets. Which is what we got.

So my calendar is marked. Wednesday, June 22, 2011 I will be with Otter and Lester in Baltimore. All day. Camping out just so we can get close enough to touch Bono. Yeah, it's happened to Lester so I'm going to fire her as my concert tour guide if she doesn't make it happen for us. Not really.

You are all officially on notice. Anything you might plan in June that could involve us will just have to be postponed to a later date. Or you'll just have to do without us. 'Cause we's gonna be at U2!

Lettin' Her Light Shine - Part II

Sweet Cheeks hasn't relented singing her new favorite song. In fact, she actually sings it more now that I bought the Lower Lights album. Which, by the way, is really fabulous. Without further delay, for your listening and viewing pleasure I present to you Sweet Cheeks:

(I ran into issues uploading the video. So I edited, compressed, and here we go.)