I talked to Otterpop about it and this was a shocker to him. In other words, the strategy of hiding my sluggish behavior from him worked. Not that I was intentionally being duplicitous. It really was more like shame drove me to do it. That's fun to admit.
October was really hard. Which I expected and was prepared for. But November was too. So rather than working myself out of it, I embraced the life of a slug. The turning point for me was when I read CJane's blog post about her annual October depression. That kind of hit home.
It's not that anything was wrong. Or that I had a lot of pressure on me. It's kinda like "The Mean Reds" from the film Breakfast at Tiffany's. Only a little less bipolar. More than anything I think it was that I didn't have anything to do. Which made me miss working. Being forced out of the house early every morning with a purpose. It kind of made me want to put my resume out again. Which I know isn't the right answer right now. My babies need me.
Instead I made myself busy. Cooking Thanksgiving dinner will do that to you. And this week has been all sorts of busy. Sweet Cheeks had a birthday party for her friends Saturday and I've been assigned to help with our ward's Relief Society Christmas party. Then I'm working on a Christmas surprise for my family. I may have over done the busy thing, but it's what I needed.
And so things are better for now. Motivation is still work, but I have something to motivate me. Now if I could just get the motivation to train for the race. Lori - call me. I need your motivation.
