Tripping Over My Own Feet

I'm a bit of a klutz. I can't tell you how many times I've been walking along and out of the blue stumbled. Not even over a crack in the sidewalk, which would be pretty bad in and of itself. Nope, just my feet.

Not only do I trip over myself, any sport involving balls threatens to give me a coronary. A debilitating lack of eye-hand-coordination - plus the fact that I'm a klutz that trips over my feet - has cursed me since the time I was a girl. I still have nightmares of volleyball in 7th grade P.E. I eventually got over the fear of my feet and proudly call myself a runner. I can't say the same for balls. Overcoming my fear of them, that is.

It's kind of the same with yoga. When I started practicing yoga while in collage I fell over many, many times in the balance postures.  I hated them, yet I found an inner drive that pushed me through. Soon they became my favorite poses. In fact, (tooting my own horn here) I am often one of only a few people in a yoga class that go deep into those postures.

All this has given me inspiration for the new year. Those pesky resolutions and all. You see, there's been a bit of balance lacking in my life lately. The figurative kind. I think I've already established the physical kind has been lacking for years. Most of 2010 was out of whack. I was either in manic mode making sure my life was close to perfect, or a slug. Hence the reason The Blog was neglected for pretty much all of December. Maybe that was just the holidays that got to me. It's gotta be the holidays because I was definitely out of slug mode my then.

I know I'm certainly not the only person that struggles with the concept of a balanced, yet fulfilled life. After all, "Balance" seems to be the catch phrase of our generation. The ideal that pretty much no one can attain. It's kind of annoying. Yet as with all things cliché there is more than a grain of truth.

It seems that we are expected to be perfect in all we do. At least that's what we tell ourselves. Stop me if you've heard this. Yeah, thought so. I won't elaborate. I'll just say that as hard as I try to prevent external forces from derailing my personal progression and happiness it's pretty much impossible.

If running and yoga have taught me anything it's that it takes work to get better, and that you can only be as good as You can be. There will always be someone better and worse than you. So I've made resolutions. Most of which really aren't all that new. All of which will hopefully guide me to the happy equilibrium of self satisfaction with the desire to do and be more.

I have a sneaky suspicion that my list is a bit on the aggressive side which is what tends to get me in this situation anyway. At least it is being viewed with a fresh set of eyes. And that gives me hope.

So heres to a new year and new goals. And no. Overcoming my fear of a ball is not on that list.

Hooray for Visitors!

My dear friend and former co-worker, Becky, came to visit us last weekend. Former co-worker, yes, but mostly dear friend. All the way from Baltimore. Ok, so not that far, but far enough away that we don't see much of each other. Actually, she's a lot closer since she moved back here from Georgia.

Becky and I grew very close in those wonderful corporate days. We share a common disdain for our former employer. Being laid off will do that to you. Come to think of it, our feelings didn't change all that much from when we were working there. I guess they were just intensified.

Anywho - From just about the time we met Becky and I had long, deep, existential conversations. My deep devotion to my religion contrast with her lack of religion but immense spirituality made for some great conversations. It has been amazing to share my beliefs with her and see how often they overlap with her own. Though there are some places we know we can't go because our views differ so greatly. But that's the fabulous thing about our friendship. We respect each other enough to agree to disagree and leave it at that.

It has been about 18 months since we last worked together, yet seeing her this weekend felt no different than when we saw each other every day. We picked up right where we left off. Except she spent the night and came to church with us Sunday. I can only imagine how she must have felt.

It's actually kind of interesting that we would talk about these things because I have a very hard time sharing my beliefs of faith. Not because I question them. I guess I am amazed at how candid people are about something so very personal. Even once you get to know someone really well it isn't always comfortable talking about things of that nature. I guess ultimately for me it comes down to fear of how others will react.

There are some people that have major problems with my religion. In July when we went to Palmyra and the Hill Cummorah Pageant I felt this intensely. There were people standing along the fence yelling in bull horns the most horrible things against us because we are Mormon. And there was little boy who was probably ten years old manning one of them. Then there were the signs. My favorite: "Ask me why you deserve to go to Hell". It was seriously disturbing. And that pretty much sums up why I have a hard time sharing my feelings.

Needless to say, I don't have that problem with Becky, and that's one of the things I love most about her. Had we met at a different time in both our lives things would probably be very, very different. We've talked a lot about that too. How there is a reason we met when we did. I'm thankful she was put in my path. Cheesy. I know. But, hey, everyone's allowed cheese every so often. I promise it won't happen again. Not too soon, that is.